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Ratification of the 2008 Seattle-North Pole Trade Agreement
Merry Christmas, youse guys.
View ArticleDue for a Refund
All being a dad takes “is a few minutes”? Man, I have been overpaying for years. I hope they credit my account for the extra–I could use that time to learn the sousaphone or something.
View ArticleEighth Wonder
I glanced up from my laptop to find my five-year-old son standing nearby, gripping a bottle of Elmer’s glue. He had removed the cap and was holding the container upside down, watching, fascinated, as...
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Halloween Postmortem, 2010
I spent Halloween this year as I have many others: sugar-high and wide awake in bed, staring at the ceiling until 4 AM, and vowing to rid the world of the evil geniuses behind Banana Laffy Taffy. That...
View ArticleTrove
Five minutes ago I found my son’s secret stash of leftover Halloween candy. What would a good parent do in this situation? Seriously, I am asking–I can’t seem to figure it out. Probably because my mind...
View ArticleTry Them And You May, I Say
H., my first cousin once removed (it took us 20 minutes and Wikipedia to figure that out), wanted to make movies over the Thanksgiving holiday. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to document my...
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It’s an All-Skate
Sunday afternoon I took Squig to Skate King. I need not describe the venue to anyone raised in this area, as they already have a perfect mental picture of the joint throbbing in their forebrain. (It...
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Seven
Hello. This is my son. You may remember him from such posts as Holy Shit I Had a Kid! and Holy Shit My Kid Is Autistic! Remember those posts? Remember them like it was yesterday? Yeah so anyway. He is...
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THIS IS CAILLOU!!!
Squig and I were watching Caillou this morning. Caillou is a Canadian kid’s show that teaches children that sharing is important, and teaches parents that their child is nowhere near as totally fucking...
View ArticleGreet & Eat
“Hey Sqig,” I said to my son as I was planning breakfast, “what would you say to a waffle?” He considered the question seriously for a moment and then replied, “hello”.
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